Columnist Karen Gardner: Vote like your democracy depends on it

Karen Gardner

Karen Gardner

By KAREN GARDNER

Published: 10-08-2024 8:59 PM

Rod, are you there? There’s just three weeks and six days left before the presidential election on Nov. 5th and I desperately need to talk with you. I know my world scares the heck out of you, and you’d rather not hear another word about it. But Rod, I’m at the end of my rope here. Please, Rod, pick up the phone.

Ok, Ok, what do you want? Oh Rod, thanks for answering. I just need to hear your calm, quiet voice. I also need you to tell me that if Nov. 5 comes and the former guy manages to win the election, or he manages to lose the election but inspires a violent uprising of his followers, that you will have a visa waiting for me to enter the Twilight Zone. I will be packed and ready to go. I just need that visa. What do you think, Rod?

Really? You want to move to the Twilight Zone? Life here is pretty weird too. But I suppose it might be better than your world with that crazy former guy and his very weird cat-lady-hating running mate. I’ve written a lot of scripts for my shows, but nothing comes close to what you’re experiencing there.

Yes, I know, Rod. And hard as it is to imagine, it’s gotten even worse than when we last talked. On the positive side we now have a smart, articulate, former senator and prosecutor running against the former guy. She is kind and empathetic and has spent her entire career in service, working to improve people’s lives. And after nearly four years as our vice president, she knows how to run this country. Oh, did I mention that she is a Black South Asian American woman?

No, you didn’t. If she wins, will she be the first woman to hold that office? Yes, Rod, she will. And if you looked closely at these two candidates running for the highest office in our land, you would tell me, of course, she’s going to win. For one thing, she can speak in full sentences that make sense.

On the negative side, half my world thinks the former guy - despite his endless lying, his spewing of dangerous disinformation, his garbled speech, his sexual assaults, his felony convictions, his mean juvenile behavior, his ignorance, his stated desire to be a dictator, his threats of retribution toward his political opponents — is the only one for them. And Rod, he refuses to promise to concede the election should he lose just as he did nearly four years ago. He lost that race and instead of doing what every other president before him had done, he incited a riot at our capitol hoping to stop the certification of the vote. Did you know that, Rod?

I think you’ve mentioned that once or twice before. But he didn’t get away with it last time, did he? No Rod, he didn’t. And that’s only because there were so many people of integrity working in our government and courts of law that refused to go along with the attempt to undermine our Constitution and steal the election.

But that doesn’t mean that he will behave differently if he loses again this time. This time around, his people have had plenty of time to organize a plan. So, Rod, there just is no way the former guy will go down quietly if he loses again, and he has threatened violence if he does.

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So, wait, there must be people in the former guy’s party that still value the rule of law and your constitution and are working to stop him from destroying your democracy? Oh dear, see how you’ve got me wound up? That sounds rather over the top.

No, Rod, you’ve nailed it. My country’s democratic form of government is hanging in the balance with this election. And, no, there is no one left in his party to push back on the former guy and his buddies, no one. But there are many former party members who have been speaking out against electing this dangerous ticket and have even been going so far as to endorse the opposing party’s candidate as the only rational choice for voters to make. Can you believe that? They’re coming out of the woodwork, Rod.

What’s so stunning about this, Rod, is that they don’t agree with many of the policy stances of the other party, but the one thing they do agree on is keeping the former guy from ever becoming president again. They believe that he is a dire threat, an existential threat, to our constitutional order, to our democracy, and as president of this very powerful nation, to the stability of the entire world.

So, Rod, can you please get me that visa? I think life in the Twilight Zone, should he lose, will be a major improvement over what’s happening here, no matter how weird your world is.

Well, yes, I might be able to come up with something. I do have some influence with the producers of the Twilight Zone, and they just might take pity on you and let you in. But, in return, you might be expected to start working on a script for a new show based on your frighteningly precarious world, though you might be required to tone it down.

Karen Gardner of Haydenville can be reached at opinion@gazettenet.com.